We all know men can be hard to read at times, but let’s explore a few different reasons why a guy may want to have a baby with you. Of course, for every man the reasons are different, but there are some tried and true reasons that are no doubt universal.
In this article, we will talk about how to support a man so that he wants to have a child with you, and what a happy relationship should be like.
It is clear that the love that arises between two people is the basis for the desire to have a child. However, what many understand by “love” is actually just euphoria that appears at the first stage of dating. It is often called “chemistry”. These are hormones and neurotransmitters, which are also necessary for the emergence of a strong desire to have children. Yet, the fact is that the euphoria wears off quickly. Falling in love may end and never develop into love. Real love, the kind that makes you and your boyfriend want to have a family together, is based on three things: being interested in each other, finding value in your relationship because it fulfills important needs, and feeling that your relationship is meaningful. When all these elements are in place, a couple is more likely to want to have children.
Being interested in each other, finding value in your relationship because it fulfills important needs, and feeling that your relationship is meaningful.
Some people believe that in long-term relationships, sex becomes boring or disappears altogether. The truth is that over time, the intensity of emotions naturally lessens. After all, the brain can’t remain in a constant state of euphoric arousal; that would lead to burnout. However, the quality of one’s sex life often mirrors the state of the overall relationship. When there is emotional intimacy between partners—meaning they are unafraid to share their experiences, rely on mutual support, and openly discuss their expectations and desires—sex remains a meaningful and fulfilling connection rather than a burdensome chore.
It’s important to note that, at times, it can be more challenging for a man to express his feelings. Therefore, it’s especially crucial for a woman not to reject her partner if he decides to have a difficult conversation. A man who feels accepted and safe with a woman, regardless of his mental or physical state, without fear of rejection or shame, is more likely to want to build a family with her.
What else makes a guy want to have a baby with you? A significant factor that makes men feel comfortable about having a child is being in good financial standing. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship with your boyfriend, but he avoids discussing your future together, he’s not necessarily afraid of commitment, it could be that he lacks confidence in his financial capabilities. You can directly ask him what he thinks about this. Be prepared for the possibility that he may not want to discuss it, as money is a complex and often sensitive topic, particularly for many men who may feel vulnerable discussing it.
Let your boyfriend know that you are ready to support him. For instance, you can help him create an impressive resume or keep a diary of his expenses.
Consider the case of my friend Anna, who, for a long time, encouraged her boyfriend to open his own restaurant, believing it would benefit their future together. However, he kept working in a small restaurant, barely earning enough to meet his basic needs. While he enjoyed working as a chef, he had no interest in starting his own business. Eventually, after seeking guidance from a psychologist, Anna realized that the desire to open a restaurant was her own, not her boyfriend’s. She then offered to help him improve his resume and distribute it to various well-regarded restaurants in the city. He readily agreed, and it worked! Now, he works as a chef for one of the finest restaurants in Paris. Once he achieved financial stability, he began discussing marriage and children on his own terms.
Emotional Solidity & Responsibility
In addition to having enough money, your partner needs to know that you are emotionally stable and equally responsible. Having a child is a significant responsibility, as it entails prioritizing someone else’s needs above your own, and this is a crucial aspect of what makes a guy want to have a baby with you. To care for someone else effectively, you must first be capable of taking care of yourself.
Many psychologists believe that having children is only advisable when both partners in a couple feel that they are leading fulfilling and enjoyable lives. Unhappy parents who struggle to cope with difficulties, lack emotional control, and neglect their own needs may not be able to provide a nurturing environment for their children. Consequently, the children may not grow up feeling content.
It’s essential to recognize that child care responsibilities will need to be shared. It’s crucial to discuss in advance how each of you envisions your future with children. For instance, a woman accustomed to independence should understand that during pregnancy and in the first few months and even years after the baby’s birth, she may become, if not entirely, then significantly reliant on her partner. Conversely, if a man believes that childcare is solely the mother’s responsibility and his duty is limited to earning money, it could lead to resentment in the future when the woman perceives that her partner is unwilling to share in the upbringing of their children.
Compatibility in Lifestyle
Another answer to the question “What can make a guy want a child with you?” is a similar lifestyle of both partners.
What does a lifestyle consist of?
Daily routine: What time does a person go to bed, and what time does he or she wake up? What is their work schedule, etc.?
Physical activity: Is a person a couch potato or does he or she enjoy long walks during work breaks?
Diet preferences: the types of foods a person chooses to eat, their dietary preferences, and their overall approach to nutrition are essential components of lifestyle.
Social interactions: how easily a person makes acquaintances, and how well they know how to maintain connections.
Hobbies: what he or she likes to do in their free time, whether they have any passions.
“What can make a guy want a child with you?” is a similar lifestyle of both partners.
Cultural and religious practices: is a person a believer, and do they adhere to any practices?
Financial choices: how a person manages their money: whether they invest money or, on the contrary, spend every penny they make.
Personal style: does a person take care of their appearance, how carefully do they select their wardrobe, and are fashion trends important to them after all?
Media and technology consumption: how much time does a person spend on social networks or playing video games?
If at least half of this matches – congratulations! Your relationship can most likely be long-term. The likelihood that the guy will want to have children with you definitely increases.
When it comes to family support, having assistance can significantly ease your journey towards your shared goals. Perhaps, relocating closer to your family, especially if you have a strong and positive relationship with them, might be a wise decision. The early stages of parenting, particularly the initial months, can be extremely demanding with sleepless nights, nursing, and occasional excessive crying. Being aware in advance that you will have the necessary support can alleviate the pressure on your partner, ensuring that they don’t have to bear the entire weight of responsibility alone.
Take a closer look at your partner’s family dynamics. If there is a warm and supportive atmosphere within that family, where people respect and value each other’s choices and offer mutual support, then it’s likely your partner can rely on their family’s support, which may ultimately contribute to his desire to have a baby with you. Additionally, we often emulate the behavior of our parents and draw from the family model we observed during our childhood.
We observed various factors that can make a guy want to have a baby with you. The importance of love, emotional intimacy, and compatibility in a couple’s lifestyle are key elements in developing a strong desire to start a family together. We also highlighted the significance of financial stability and emotional responsibility in creating favorable conditions for raising children. Don’t forget about family support that is a mighty resource that can alleviate the challenges of parenting. Ultimately, when these elements align, the likelihood that a man will want to have children with you increases.