Should you break up with a guy with financial problems? Most often, the answer to this question is no, because the value of romantic relationships is not determined by the amount of money each partner makes. People can invest in relationships in many ways, for example, support emotionally.
However, there are situations when you should leave your boyfriend if he earns less than you or is even broke.
In this article, I will talk about five bad calls that you should not miss if you are dating a guy who has little money or doesn’t have any.
Boyfriend Who’s Always Asking for Money
Borrowing money when needed is perfectly normal. The one who borrows money and the one who lends it should agree on the term and other conditions for its return though.
Fat chance that you will lend to a person who once borrowed money from you and never paid it back. However, what if this person is your boyfriend who keeps asking you for money and never, or rarely, returns it? Or you may find yourself the only partner in your couple who pays for everything, from lunch to his rental bill.
This may happen when one of the partners has temporary financial difficulties. But if you feel that your boyfriend has begun to abuse your generosity, or, especially, you are afraid that he will leave if you limit or completely stop financial support, I have bad news for you. It looks like your boyfriend is just using you.
However, don’t rush to end the relationship. Talk to your boyfriend, and tell him about your feelings and expectations toward the relationship balance. Perhaps he got used to your constant support and began to take it for granted. Gratuitous help, even with the best of intentions, can be destructive, because a guy with financial problems, getting used to such help, has no motivation to improve his or her own level of earnings.
Boyfriend Doesn’t Save Money for Your Future Together
There are people who save some of the money they earn or invest it in promising business projects. There are some other people who tend to spend whatever they get or even fritter all their money away. When it comes to financial strategy, it’s an individual choice unless you don’t want to plan a joint future with someone special.
The future is expensive. These are mortgages, children, cars, pets, etc. I normally try to avoid writing trivial things, but in order to acquire something expensive, you often have to set aside money for it in advance. Not to mention that we all should save some just for a rainy day.
If you are good at saving money, but your boyfriend, with whom you have already discussed your plans, is not excited about setting aside some for your future, this may not be the best partner. Practice shows that resentment and anger end up accumulating in couples with a single cash account. However, it may be ok for both of you, even if your partner is a guy with financial problems but eager to invest in your future in a different way. The main thing is to discuss how you two see your life together. Then agree on what each of you can invest into the relationship without sacrificing your desires for a perfect but still illusive future.
Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have a Job
Any adult person in a certain period of life can be jobless. The global COVID-19 pandemic has shown us thousands of people can lose their income.
However, if you are dating a guy with financial problems and he is clearly not intending to solve them – not looking for a job or says he is, but obviously doesn’t take even baby steps to get one – you shouldn’t turn a blind eye to it.
Often creative people face financial problems. Maybe you are dating some artsy person? Unfortunately, not every professional work converts into a stable income, especially in the creative field. For example, it is often difficult for an artist to earn a livelihood. If your boyfriend is a creator who can’t imagine himself without art but is not yet making money from that, you can support him financially for a while.
However, if your partner believes that his talent alone is worth millions and one day he will easily scoop it, most likely he is still immature. Infantile people often believe that someone will come and give them everything they desire. If you are not ready to become a person who is needed only to fulfill the whims of another, you probably should think about ending this relationship.
Boyfriend Never Buys You Gifts or Flowers
Gifts are one of the love languages. Contrary to the stereotype, not only girls like to receive gifts, but guys also value presents from women. However, most often the complaint “My partner never buys me gifts” comes from girls. If your boyfriend never buys you flowers or any other presents, does that mean he is not in love with you? Should you break up with a guy who never buys you gifts?
I would not recommend you rush into making such a decision. There are a lot of reasons he does it the way he does. You can read more about why your boyfriend never buys you gifts in this article. Now I’ll highlight some possible reasons.
He expresses his love in a different way. Perhaps your boyfriend doesn’t consider flowers or earrings to show his feelings, so he uses another love language.
You never openly tell him what you want. Maybe you don’t enjoy the gifts your boyfriend gives you, so you forget about or don’t appreciate those. If you believe that a person you are dating must guess what you want, it’s an obvious sign that you take your partner for granted.
Your relationship is not balanced. Sometimes your boyfriend is not willing to buy you gifts or flowers because he doesn’t feel that he is important to you. Perhaps he used to buy something for you or contributed to your relationship in a different way but ended up feeling like you didn’t give him anything back. Even the most loving person will eventually give up if his efforts go unnoticed day after day.
He doesn’t make enough money. It is possible that your boyfriend is currently experiencing money difficulties and doesn’t have money for gifts.
He may prefer not to talk about it, because this topic can be a sensitive matter for a guy with financial problems.
He’s no longer into you. Sometimes the situation when your boyfriend doesn’t buy you gifts or flowers means that he is falling out of love with you. Unfortunately, he is no longer interested in investing in your relationship. Well, it happens. It’s sad, and sometimes painful, but not fatal. You will definitely survive this and build new happier relationships.
He’s Rich but Scared That You’ll Take Advantage of Him
The last situation is barely related to the topic of a guy with financial problems. On the contrary, I’m going to talk about wealthy guys.
Sometimes, the person you started dating is rich enough, but it seems like he doesn’t intend to spend a penny on you because… he is terribly afraid that you may take advantage of him.
One of my friends met a man who owned a profitable business. However, on the second date, he said that he expected her to pay for herself from now on. It turned out that recently he had a bitter relationship experience with a mercenary woman. Do I need to say that my friend declined the third-date invitation? And I completely understand her feelings. It is not good when someone measures another by the experience of interacting with a completely different person.
If my friend had agreed to continue this relationship, it would probably have become toxic. What that guy actually meant by articulating his expectations was that he didn’t really care what my friend was about. A painful relationship experience made him believe that now all women long to abuse his money.
People who firmly believe that everyone wants to screw them, rather need to figure out where this confidence came from and whether their perception corresponds to reality.
The relationship is a complex thing. It may seem that you have found the one, but then they start abusing your kindness and generosity. However, as I said at the beginning, I can’t give you advice on whether or not to stop dating a guy with financial problems. The only thing I can say with complete certainty is to advise you to talk with your partner about the problems you stumble upon. Perhaps what seems complicated in the first place turns out to be a problem you can easily solve, and you will get through it together, allowing your feelings to grow stronger.