Why It’s Okay If You Don’t Want to Live With Your Girlfriend
Picture this: your girlfriend and you are in a loving, committed relationship. You like spending time together, sharing your passions and dreams, and being there for each other through thick and thin. Everything is in order…except for one small “problem”: you don’t want to live with your girlfriend.
Gasp! Shock! Horror! You commitment-phobic monster, how dare you? Don’t you understand that living together is _the ultimate manifestation of love! The holy grail of romance! The…_woah, okay, alright. Calm down.
Take a long, deep breath. Repeat after me: It’s okay if you don’t want to live with your girlfriend.
That’s right! Contrary to popular belief, moving in together is not a mandatory stage in a relationship. In reality, there are many good reasons why you should not cohabitate with your partner.
Don’t believe us? Well, buckle up, and let’s get into it.
Is It Bad that I Don’t Want to Move in with My Girlfriend?
Is it bad that you don’t want to live with your girlfriend right now? Absolutely not! As we mentioned before, living together is not the only way to have a happy and meaningful relationship.
Forcing yourself to live with your partner when you aren’t ready or willing might backfire and cause more difficulties than answers. You may feel confined, frustrated, or overwhelmed as a result, and your partner may notice your hesitancy and wonder what’s wrong.
That is why it is critical to respect your own sentiments and priorities and to convey them to your partner in an honest and respectful way.
For example: “Hey babe, I love you and our relationship, but I don’t think I’m ready to move in yet. Can we discuss other ways to strengthen our bond and support one another?”
Don’t be afraid to express yourself!
In every relationship, a little honesty and humor can go a long way. As the famous philosopher Beyonce once said, “If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it”. But if you don’t like it, then you shouldn’ta put yourself in a living situation you don’t want!
Can a Relationship Work If You’re Not Living Together
Can you have a relationship if you aren’t living together?
Absolutely!
While cohabitation can be a great way to strengthen your bond and share your everyday life, it is not a guarantee of happiness or compatibility. In fact, many couples who choose to live apart for a variety of reasons can maintain a deep and loving connection.
The trick is to strike a happy medium while still respecting each other’s needs and boundaries. Without being under the same roof, you may still enjoy date evenings, sleepovers, vacations, and emotional support.
Regardless of your living condition, a strong and successful relationship is about mutual respect, trust, communication, and progress. So don’t let societal pressure or expectations dictate your choices; focus on what makes you and your girlfriend happy and fulfilled.
How Do You Tell Your Girlfriend You Are Not Ready to Move In?
Telling your girlfriend that you’re not ready to move in together can be a tough conversation, but it is also a crucial one to have. In every relationship, honesty and transparency are essential, and skirting the subject will only lead to greater uncertainty and animosity.
Firstly, be clear about why you don’t want to live with your girlfriend, whether it’s for financial, intimate, or just personal reasons. Then, arrange a decent time and location for the conversation, when both of you can be present and attentive.
Respect and empathize with your girlfriend’s sentiments, and understand that this may not be the response she was hoping for.
Comfort her, but also provide alternative solutions or compromises, such as frequent date evenings, weekend trips, or enjoying shared interests. This can help you both stay connected and supportive of each other’s needs and expectations. Be sure to communicate all this to her.
As the famous quote goes, “Honesty is the best policy. If I lose my honesty, I lose myself.” Your girlfriend will appreciate your openness and respect, and she may even agree with you in the end.
5 Reasons Why It’s Okay If You Don’t Want to Live With Your Girlfriend
Here’s a detailed list to help you feel more comfortable about your decision to not move in with your girlfriend:
1. Living Together Should be a Mutual Decision, Not a Compromise
Living together should never be a compromise; rather, it should be a mutual decision that both parties are passionate about.
While it may be easier to succumb to societal pressure or your girlfriend’s expectations, you shouldn’t move in until you’re ready for it. See, moving in together without an honest desire to do so can lead to resentment, fights, and, eventually, an unhappy relationship.
However…if you’re 100% sure you don’t want to live with your girlfriend right now, let her know why!
Understanding where you’re coming from can help your girlfriend respect your boundaries better.
So, without feeling guilty or ashamed of your decision, take the time to have an honest and open dialogue with your partner about your thoughts and expectations.
After all, “home is where the heart is,” and your heart deserves to dwell somewhere that’s comfortable for you!
2. Rushing into Living Together Can Do More Harm Than Good
Patience is a virtue, and this is especially true while contemplating whether or not to move in with your partner. Rushing into living together may be damaging, especially if you are not prepared.
It is important to take stock of how you’re preparing for this significant move. Moving in together is a major decision, and both partners must be on the same page…so don’t hesitate to take your time. You don’t want to be in a position where you feel imprisoned or overwhelmed.
Also, moving in together too soon might place a lot of strain on your relationship and perhaps lead to unnecessary fights.
Instead, before taking this significant step, work on establishing a solid foundation of trust and respect. Remember that you are not required to fully comply with society’s norms or other people’s opinions.
Allow yourself enough time to make the best choice for yourself, but while finding ways to make sure your girlfriend feels supported, too. After all, she could be your long-term life partner, so treat her (and yourself) well!
3. More Personal Space: Why It’s Important in a Relationship
While spending time with your partner is necessary for a healthy relationship, everyone still needs their own space.
All people (including you!) deserve to have enough personal space to spend time by themselves. This could manifest in various ways: studying alone, working on projects for career-growth, philosophizing in your downtime, or enjoying some video games.
Remember, a relationship should enhance your life, not consume it.
Thus, it’s crucial to have your own space to just be you – even if this translates into living without your girlfriend for a while.
4. Living Independently Lets You and Her Bond in New Ways
Living together isn’t the only way to bond and connect with your partner; sometimes having your own space and interests is even better. So, don’t be hesitant to try new ways to build your connection, such as shared experiences, mutual hobbies, or frequent meaningful heart-to-hearts.
You may, for example, plan a romantic weekend vacation to a neighboring town, go on a hiking or biking expedition together, take a culinary or dancing class together, or simply have a movie or game night at home. You may also use this time to strengthen your emotional bond by discussing your dreams, fears, and goals or by practicing active listening and empathy in your regular conversations.
5. Different Priorities: Why It’s Okay to Have Your Own Goals
If you’re in your 20s, chances are you’re not ready to get married yet. You might also not be ready to move in without marriage, and that’s alright, too. So, if you don’t want to live with your girlfriend until you have your life sorted, know that it’s totally okay!
When you’re young, the world feels like it has so much to offer - and it does! Your 20s are likely to be brimming with brilliant opportunities and exciting new horizons to chase. Living with your girlfriend could make it difficult to focus on career-building.
On a side note, though, living together can reduce the burden of caring for your home, doing the groceries, and related tasks. If you split chores with your girlfriend, you can save up on time. Splitting the rent can feel great, too! Plus, having a partner around can help you feel more emotionally supported…but to each their own!
That being said, if you’re still not comfortable with living together, know that it’s completely okay. Focus on building yourself up by chasing your goals - but let your partner know your perspective, too! Remember, communication is key.
6. Recognizing and Respecting Your Boundaries
Don’t worry if living together isn’t something you’re ready for. It’s normal to get the jitters when talking about moving in, especially if this is your first long-term relationship. Or, maybe you had a poor experience after moving in with an ex. If so, try communicating this to your partner. The more you tell her, the better she can understand where you’re coming from, not take things personally, and support you through it all.
Also, if you’re not ready to move in, look for alternatives that can make both of you happy. After all, if she wants to move in together but you’re not ready, it’s important for you to support her in other ways to “make up” for it, in a way.
For example, you could suggest you or her moving to a new home that’s closer to each other but not necessarily together, or developing a timetable that allows you both to have your own space and time. The latter is a more practical option, but it’s worth considering the first one, too.
On that note, you know what they say: “Happy wife, happy life!”
But don’t forget that the same is true for you, too. (You deserve happiness!)
