Worried about your first date? It’s completely natural because you want everything to go smoothly. Luckily, a lot depends on you. Keep in mind these 15 things to avoid if you want this date not to be the last one.
1. Look Good. Don’t neglect your appearance. Your first date outfit is very important. I know, you desire your date to appreciate your inner world. However, this person will want to look into your soul only if they are not repelled by your appearance. I’m not saying that you should try to look like a magazine model. Basic hygiene and clean clothes might be enough. For many, this seems obvious, but some people think that a torn t-shirt or tousled hair will help them to look naturally cool and self-confident. No, it won’t. A neat appearance speaks of the ability to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you may seem like an infantile child who needs a mother to iron their shirt. By the way, there is an article on how to flirt and be seductive!
2. Smell Good. It follows from the previous paragraph but requires special attention. The smell of another person may attract, repel, or seem neutral. Sometimes, when we fall in love with a person, we begin to like their smell, even if it previously didn’t seem very pleasant. However, you can’t predict if your date will like your body odor, but you can definitely take a shower before your meeting and use your favorite perfume. Just don’t overdo it.
3. Be Punctual. Try your best to arrive on time, especially to your first date. Showing up late is just rude. A person who is late and does not even give a call or message about it demonstrates disrespect for the one who is waiting for him or her. Most likely, this person neglects their own personal boundaries and the boundaries of others.
4. Don’t Talk About Exes. Don’t mention your past relationships, especially in a negative way. Your date unconsciously puts themselves in the place of your ex-partner. It may lead to an unhealthy relationship. Besides, bringing up your exes on a first date is just awkward.
5. Show Interest in Your Date. We like people who are interested in us. To please your date, talk about them, not about yourself. Discuss their interests, ask questions. You need to show your date that you’re listening. You can indicate that you’re paying attention through eye contact or reassuring head nods. However, asking too many questions may ruin the conversation. Moreover, don’t forget that not all questions can be asked on a first date. Keep your nose out of the person’s past relationships and don’t try to ask about something they obviously refuse to talk about.
Discuss their interests, ask questions
6. Don’t Make Your Date Part of Your Global Plans for The Future. One day, the guy I met for the first time pointed to a bridal boutique and said with a smile that we will be back here again. Needless to say, he never saw me again. Even if you are fascinated by a person and mentally draw pictures of your wonderful common future, where you have children, dogs and a house on the lake, do not talk about it. Don’t even hint at it. The date may feel this as pressure from you and become nervous.
One day, the guy I met for the first time pointed to a bridal boutique and said with a smile that we will be back here again. Needless to say, he never saw me again.
7. Be Polite. Show respect not only to your date but also to people around. Remember, a lot can be said about you by how you treat others. However, showing respect doesn’t mean you have to go along with something you don’t like. Disagreement can be expressed gently and respectfully though.
8. Don’t Reveal Your Medical History. Each of us has a medical history. However, neither on the first nor on subsequent dates, it is appropriate to talk about it. Your date may decide that you like to complain. Talking about medical history can kill interest. Keep this for later, unless it’s a food allergy or a thing that can’t be hidden, for example, an arm in cast.
9. Keep Your Nose Out of Your Smartphone. This rule isn’t just for the first date. Checking your phone all the time can irritate your date. If you constantly look at your phone, this means that you are not interested in the person sitting in front of you. This will almost certainly ruin the impression of you on the first, second, and any subsequent dates. If they happen. So, if you are addicted to your smartphone, put it out of reach and focus on your date. After all, isn’t that what you came for?
10. Don’t Try to Act Out Feelings You Don’t Really Feel. If you are confused—and it’s almost inevitable on a first date—don’t try to act overly confident. Admit what you are really experiencing. Admitting feelings is a sign of boldness, so it’s very attractive. People who talk about their feelings tend to accept themselves, which means they can build healthy relationships with others.
11. Drink Moderately. It goes without saying, getting drunk on a first date is a grave mistake that can literally bury your possible future with the person you’ve just met. Be reasonable and limit yourself to one or two drinks.
12. Don’t Force Yourself to Be Funny. Undoubtedly, people are attracted by a good sense of humor, which indicates intelligence and mental health. However, if you try to come up with a funny joke but it won’t work out, admit it. Say “I really want to make a cool joke, but I can’t do it. You will probably understand if I can!” Act naturally and your sense of humor won’t let you down.
13. Respect Boundaries. Do not violate personal boundaries. For example, your date says they don’t want to eat, but you order something for them anyway. Another first date tip, don’t try to shorten the distance, for example, move too close, hug or kiss. Remember, this is just your first date. You need to get to know each other.
Do not violate personal boundaries.
14. Don’t Discuss Sex. Not on the first date. If you start a conversation about sex when you don’t know how comfortable your date is with discussing it, you violate their personal boundaries. Joking about intimate topics on the first date is also a touchy thing and can repel a person.
15. Don’t Forget Your Wallet. It’s usually up to the person who requested the date to pay for it but nowadays discussing how to split the check is pretty common.
A first date is an exciting and overwhelming thing. If everything goes well, this meeting could be the beginning of your joint happy story. Try not to ruin everything with a rude act or a stupid topic for the conversation. Be engaging, and attentive but first of all – be yourself and everything will definitely work out!